Infidelity remains one of the most emotionally devastating experiences anyone in a committed relationship can endure.
For many, the discovery of a partner’s unfaithfulness is not just a betrayal of trust but a shattering of personal, cultural, and even spiritual values.
In Nigeria, where societal pressures around marriage and fidelity are pronounced, the experience can feel doubly isolating.
But what should one actually do when faced with such a painful revelation? Experts say that how you respond in those first days and weeks can shape your long-term well-being.
Below are key steps to consider, backed by psychological insights and sociological perspectives:
Pause and process, don’t react immediately
A Lagos-based clinical psychologist, Chinwe Dimkpa, emphasised the importance of emotional regulation in the immediate aftermath of discovery.
“When people react impulsively, whether by confrontation, violence, or publicly exposing the partner, they often end up regretting those decisions later,” she explains.
The first instinct may be to scream, confront, or even retaliate. However, Adebayo recommends taking some time to pause, breathe, and process what you now know. Publications such as the Journal of Family Psychology affirm that a period of emotional cooling-off can reduce the risk of escalated conflict and allow for clearer decision-making.
Seek professional support
In Nigeria, therapy is still surrounded by stigma, but more people are realising its value.
A marriage counsellor, psychologist, or trusted religious leader can provide a safe space to express your feelings and understand your options.
According to the African Journal of Psychological Study of Social Issues, couples who engage in professional therapy post-infidelity are better able to process their pain and determine the future of the relationship with greater clarity.
Support should also include trusted friends or family, but choose carefully. Avoid turning it into a gossip cycle. One or two emotionally mature confidants are enough.
The goal is to surround
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